Why Me?

Is there any missionary who hasn't asked this question? Most often, I’m afraid I grumble “Why me?” out of frustration, like those days when everything goes wrong. Days when the kids are throwing up from both ends, days when the cistern runs dry, the electricity glitches, and dinner burns. Days like my favorite children’s book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

On better days, though, I ask with a heart of gratitude, humility, and wonder: “Why me?” Of all the spiritually qualified and talented women out there, why am I so blessed to live out this life of service to God? A casual glance at Scripture shows that God delights in using "cracked pots" to accomplish His will. He chose me on purpose. Why? So people will recognize that God is the true source of any good I can possibly do.

Some of you may be seriously wondering what WOTH was thinking when they picked me of all people to be the new “Coffeegirl.” As I prayed about this opportunity, I had to ask the “Why me?” question. I suspect the reason I was selected has to do with who I am. I’m no super missionary, no super mom, no super anything. In fact there is nothing exceptional about me. I’ve lived the majority of my life in virtual obscurity. While I admit this, in no way do I think of myself as a “nobody.”

Instead I think of myself as “anybody” and “everybody.” When you hear of a weird flook or embarrassing situation that happens to someone, or some horrible mistake a friend makes when she totally means well but lets you down anyway, and you graciously say, “It could happen to anybody.”

That’s me.

When you say, “Everybody goes through that on the mission field.”

That’s me, too. I’m anybody and everybody.

Although I have been on the field a bit longer than some of you, I do not pretend to have experienced as much as you have. I have learned a lot, but I am an expert at nothing. Although I am older than many of you (egads, I’m almost 50!), I would be foolish to imply that I am more mature or even one step ahead of you in your walk with Jesus.

My idea is to come alongside you, bring in some humor, and help us laugh at ourselves as we live out these impossible stories God has written for us. I will strive to always be very transparent, authentic, candid, open, and real. I don’t ever want to be a fake. According to thesaurus.reference.com, “A fake is a work of art that is deliberately made or altered to appear better, older, or other than what it is.” Yikes! No thanks. If anything, I would rather be genuine and appear younger.

People who know me IRL (in real life) should be able to laugh and say, “Yes, that’s true!” No pretense. No image to protect. Simply me, walking hand in hand with you, my sisters and fellow laborers and sometime blunderers.

IRL*I'm there in the photo (really), one of a whole bunch of women at the WOTH Furlough Retreat, unrecognizable from all the rest....anybody and everybody.