The party’s over. A
sensational week with my granddaughter and all my children has come to a
close. All I’ve got to say (well, not
exactly all I have to say, but with every attempt to keep this post brief) is
that things sure look different waving bye-bye from this side of the security
gate at the airport.
When we used to kiss my parents goodbye, taking precious
grandchildren far away, I never fully understood the anguish I was
causing. Now I get it. (I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it
again.) Boy, do I get it.
Another thing I want to add is how much easier it is to
trust God for protection and provision in my own life than in the life of my
adult children. Back when we were
driving around the Guatemalan countryside in the midst of a civil war, was I
concerned? Not much. We were all together, and God was there to
protect and provide.
Now that my kids are the ones driving through Mexico on their
way to serve as teachers at the MK school close to us, it looks a bit
different. Are you sure that’s a good
idea to drive instead of fly just so you’ll have a vehicle once you get
there? Okay. (Never mind that we used to drive all the way
to Guatemala through Mexico with
quite a few children.)
Suddenly I’ve had this drastic shift in perspective, and
it’s making me think and trust on a whole new level. I guess that’s a good thing. Come what may, I have chosen to simply trust
God. Just because I’ve started gaining
victory over some pesky sins doesn’t mean I have to make way for new ones. Worry is a sin. I hereby vow not to go there, at least not
regularly.
Ugh. Either I can
trust my kids in His hands or I can’t.
It seems so ironic to start worrying now after all we’ve been through.
How about you? Have
you found certain things you used to take in stride are suddenly triggers for
serious concern or even alarm?
This summer while in the States I watched an old rerun of Leave it to Beaver. It’s funny how I used to identify with the
kids on that show, but now I watch it as a mother and grandmother, and it’s a
different show entirely. Those dumb
kids. What are they thinking?
When it comes right down to it, I’m more comfortable reading
the seemingly-dumb-kid side of the script than the reasonable-adult role.
Either way, I think it’s much easier to be the one boarding
the plane than the one waving good-bye from the other side. That’s my opinion, and I’m sticking with
it.
IRL* Thanks, Mom, for loving us long-distance all these
years.
We are currently in the cause-our-own-parents-anguish stage as we take their grandkids away for a year at a time. And I think I could use the word 'torture' to describe that. It just doesn't get easier each year, either. It's so hard. One of the hardest things I think, actually. I selfishly hope I never have to be on the other side of it either...
ReplyDeleteWe are the ones leaving the GKs and adult kids behind to head for the field. I agree that concern over safety/provision for myself is not something I give much thought to. But what has caught me a bit off-guard is how concerned I've been about the heart-separation issues for the GKs. -- As if God isn't big enough, or watchful enough to supply all their needs without me ?? Wow. I didn't see that one coming, and did I recognize it as a trust issue either, but that's exactly what it is. I appreciate your post. Very timely.
ReplyDeleteVery very poignant post. It makes me so very grateful for the gracious grandma/mom that released us with kindness and gentleness---and prayer!!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I am entering the parenting-of-teenagers season. And, yep, I was just fine "doing" all those teenage things---trusting God and actually not thinking much at all about safety in my teenage years. Now I have to watch that, fight the worry and await the cell phone calls...
This has been one of those weeks, and I realize I never responded to your comments. Sorry about that. Thank you for reading and adding your perspective to mine.
ReplyDeleteNormally the highlight of my week is reading what you have to say, but this summer I have had way too many highlights.